On the beat. Smoking Marlboro Reds and cranking out the best news articles you ever read. Left the media industry in disgust. Building out Greaser's Gulch.
The Bitcoin mining industry is being thrown into chaos as a Canadian man has been arrested for heating his home with an Antminer S9. The man posted a video of his setup on Twitter which lead to law enforcement visiting his home and arresting him. He faces up to 3
Bitcoiners are looking for ways to get autism after Mandrik tweeted that it was the best way to survive autism. This trend shows that individuals are fed up with Bitcoin refusing to moon and make everyone rich. The tweet appears to be a rallying cry for Bitcoiners to flaunt their
In a play similar to Belle Delphine, a prolific egirl, Michael Saylor has began selling his bathwater to hysterical fans for extraordinary prices. Not only does one get a 8 oz vial of bathwater, they also get an ordinal to go with it. Saylor is partnering with Bitcoin Magazine on
The world is changing, and the spooks are attempting to determine where they now fit into it all. This week, Michael Saylor organized the spookiest halloween party by inviting the usual suspects over to discuss subverting the Bitcoin community in new and creative ways. Garry Kasperov and Alex Gladstein discussed
Jimmy Song has been elected as the Pope of Bitcoin after a secret meeting of the Bitcoin Cardinals. Cardinals include Giacomo Zucco, Der Gigi, Michael Saylor, Luke Dash Jr, and a handful of others who wish to remain anonymous. While the Pope has zero power over the Bitcoin protocol, Pope
The Bitcoin Bugle has discovered that when you play Stephan Livera's podcasts backwards, it clearly reveals satanic messaging. The messaging seems to be the polar opposite of the messaging that Stephan generally shares on his podcast, and oddly sounds very similar to the things that Udi talks about.
A rare disease called Poliosis seems to be impacting influencers across multiple mediums. The disease turns a streak of the infected persons hair a different color, but seems to have no influence on cognitive performance. Many people thought that the disease was a voluntary hair choice after BTCSessions colored Nico&
A new study by the Texas Blockchain council has found alarming rates of erectile dysfunction in Bitcoiners who vote as the result of extremely low testosterone. The study found that 76.3% of voters who claimed to be Bitcoiners could not achieve an erection with assistance from either Testosterone replacement
The Libertarian Party has done it folks! They have managed to find a group of presidential candidates even less compelling than Jo Jorgenson. As the United States continues to spiral out of control into a totalitarian nightmare, the party of liberty continues to hit an all time high of being
Peter Schiff has filed bankruptcy after Bitcoiners hang up the towel and stopped engaging with his tweets. His firm Schiff Gold stopped getting free marketing, and as a result had a massive decline in sales. Schiff has traditionally done well selling his gold rocks or paper versions of gold rocks
Bitcoin Magazine has hired Jim Cramer to do a full time show on Bitcoin in order to make the price go into a super cycle. The show will be broadcasted on YouTube and will be called "Mad Hard Money." Cramer's role will be to continuously make
Elon Musk has announced that Twitter will be rate limiting Bitcoiners every time Bitcoin increases by more than 10% in a day. "I'm tired of my entire feed being filled with bulltards. I know we messed up by not having a higher Bitcoin balance in the Tesla