Bitcoin Professional Accidentally Shares Fake News, Spends Entire Day Doing KYC in Repentance
In a shocking turn of events that rocked the AnchorWatch Slack channel more than the price of Bitcoin, one of AnchorWatch’s most compliance-obsessed professionals accidentally shared misinformation about Amazon’s VP, the VP’s wife, and CEO. Yes, you read that right—misinformation in a place where Rebecca Rubenfeld’s compliance spreadsheets have compliance checks!
Our anonymous AnchorWatch employee, who we’ll call Chris Curran – Head of Operations at AnchorWatch, usually treats news stories with the same level of scrutiny that AnchorWatch CEO, Rob Hamilton, applies to his daily bakers-dozen KYC verifications, slipped up. In a momentary lapse of judgment, Chris shared a juicy news piece involving Amazon’s execs that turned out to be as real as state-level legislation to pass Bitcoin as a currency.
“Look, I usually verify everything like it’s a customer applying for insurance with no ID and a PO Box,” Curran said, looking beat red from embarrassment. “But this one time, I trusted a source that wasn’t even as credible anons on twitter claiming to understand macro. Big mistake.”
The misinformation didn’t spread far, thanks to the swift action of our compliance team, who, upon detecting the error, immediately locked down the channel as if it were a cold storage wallet after a price surge. The message was deleted faster than Rob Hamilton claiming Jameson Lopp’s easter egg tweets.”
Our compliance enthusiast then spent the rest of the day engaging in a self-imposed penance, running KYC on himself at least a dozen times, just to be sure. “I even double-checked my own Social Security number. Twice. Can’t be too careful,” Chris admitted.
AnchorWatch takes compliance very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that after this incident, we’re considering adding a new policy: No news sharing until it’s been run through a rigorous 12-step verification process, complete with background checks, fingerprinting, and a signed affidavit that is endorsed by a notary.
In the end, no lasting damage was done, and the lesson was learned. It’s crucial to double-check, triple-check, and maybe even quadruple-check before hitting “Send.” And if you’re ever in doubt, just remember—when in doubt, there’s always KYC. AnchorWatch really takes time to know its customers.
So, here’s to staying compliant, staying accurate, and most importantly, staying out of trouble. Curran signed off the meeting with. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there are some KYC and incident reports waiting to be filled out. And I’ll need you to sign our mutual non-compete clause.”
