Canada Announces 'Amnesty' Day Allowing Bitcoin Miners to Surrender ASICs, 'No Questions Asked' In Effort to Combat Intentional Climate Change

Ottawa – The Honourable Steven Guilbeault, Canadian Minister of Environment and Climate Change, announced plans to hold a Bitcoin Miner Amnesty Day on Saturday, March 2 allowing Bitcoin Miners to surrender their mining rigs to the Canadian Federal Government, no questions asked.

According to plans outlined by the Ministry of Environment and Climate Change, each province will be responsible for coordinating and communication drop off locations where illegal Bitcoin miners can drop off their mining hardware without fear of criminal prosecution in exchange for $1oo CAD worth of carbon credits or Tim Hortons gift cards.

Minister Guilbeault said of the plans, "Canadians understand their responsibility to this planet and to their fellow Canadians. Our mandate is to stop the wanton abuse of Canada's energy resources by Bitcoin miners contributing to Intentional Climate Change." A press release detailed 4 drop off locations which would be managed by the Federal government in Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver. However, the release emphasized the need for each province to contribute to the efforts by making locations available in any population center exceeding 30,000 residents.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued remarks about the March 2 event stating all Canadian citizens scheduled to work at their primary place of employment who participate in the surrender of Bitcoin mining hardware will be granted 1 hour of pay by the Federal government to make up for lost wages. "It is crucial that Canadians step up and voluntarily do this to help us save our planet." He said. Anyone who fails to surrender their mining computers on March 2 will have 7 days to report their unlawful machines to their local provincial government for removal from their property along with a $10,000 CAD fine. Canadians who fail to do so will face harsher consequences, including jail time, if they're caught contributing to Intentional Climate Change in the future.

The government detailed their plans for disposing of the Bitcoin mining hardware that end up being surrendered during amnesty day which includes destroying the hardware and recycling materials for use in solar panels, windmills, and for use in medical equipment designed for medically assisted suicide for Canadians with medical conditions deemed too expensive for tax payers to subsidize.

Indigenous Canadians have been invited to operate the electric steamrollers which will be used to crush and destroy the mining computers, if they wish to be a part of the effort to "flatten climate change." Due to a recent uptick in reports of Long Covid, Canadians who plan to surrender their computers or participate in destroying them are encouraged to wear a mask in the event social distancing won't be possible.