Dennis Porter Announces Announcement Of 2028 Presidential Run
Last night in a turbulent Twitter spaces hosted by Hodl Magoo, Dennis Porter announced that he would be announcing his intention to run for president of the United States in 2028. In a little slip of alpha as to what his core objectives are, he stated his campaign slogan would be, "Make America's Dick Hard Again."
There are some questions as to which political party Porter would be running for as many people have been referencing his blatant nonpartisan stance. His recent orange pilling of the Harris campaign has caused many to speculate that he would be aligning with the democrats, but has downplayed the rumors stating that he is set to stick to his goal of being an independent.
Porter's single life mission has been to selflessly serve the Bitcoin network by wrestling the alligators in the swamp. Many have credited him as being the single reason that Bitcoin has not been banned in the United States. His success has caused many to criticize him, most likely out of jealousy. David Bailey has been a vocal critic of Porter, as he appears to be attempting to frame himself as the premiere Bitcoin politics guru in the US.
Bailey officially welcomed Donald Trump into the Bitcoin pleb community by handing him his first self custodied Bitcoin. This stunt was effective as Porter has yet to display such a public example of orange pilling.
Bailey has banned Porter from attending the most recent conference, which did not stop him from attending after he orange pilled the Secret Service which attempted to deny him entry to the event. Some are wondering if Porter's announcement of an announcement is a stunt to try and get a speaking slot at the conference which he has been denied for years despite public support and outcries from his base.
Running for a major government position and saying the word Bitcoin is qualification to get a speaking slot at the conference which is increasingly attempting to focus on politics. Regardless, Porter has the potential to eclipse the conference in scale as he is influence in the industry and around the world is growing at a pace unparalleled. In the scenario he has a speaking slot, event organizers would likely need to rent out a large arena and it would likely resemble a Billy Graham spiritual revival instead of typical Bitcoin conference.
Last night's twitter spaces ended with Bailey having to leave after announcing that Porter had given him an erection and that he was ready to attend to his wife. Porter's campaign slogan, "Make America's Dick Hard Again," has been inspired by his unique ability to cure erectile dysfunction. Many Bitcoiners are sharing that doctors have been prescribing them Dennis Porter instead of Viagra, and that their wives have been whispering his name into their ear during sex if they struggle with excitement.
The thought of someone protecting Bitcoin rights in the US as hard and effectively as Dennis has is enough to get anyone excited. The Bugle will continue to report on updates of Porter's campaign. We have not bothered to reach out for comment because we know he's too busy doing Satoshi's work.
