How Conversion Therapy Can Save The Wokes From Serving Prison Time In Trump's America

Gay civil rights leaders are appalled as Biden pardoned his family, and other criminal politicians without putting out a blanket pardon for all gay people in America, who are now expected to be under legal scrutiny by the Trump administration, who is mandating "Americans be based," or face legal repercussions. This is a stark contrast to the Biden administration, who for four years, prosecuted Americans who were based, and mandated wokeness.

The whiplash resulting from these policy changes seems to be causing chaos, as many individuals with weak wills and little thinking power, are finding themselves confused on what to think.

"Am I going to prison for having a yard sign that promotes inclusion?" Jamie Silverstone asked on Twitter.

Already, woke groups are organizing using private messaging apps in order to create underground networks to shelter their woke Comrades who face risk of prosecution by a Trump administration which seeks to get retribution for all the discrimination that has been directed towards based Americans. Some based Americans such as Proud Boys Leader, Enrique Tarrio are calling for the imprisonment of woke individuals such as former attorney general, Merrick Garland, who were some of the chief antagonists against based Americans.

The Trump administration is expected to be releasing guidelines on how the wokes can avoid prison time by converting to being based. A Trump White House spokesman gave some clarity to reporters by saying, "The Trump administration has no issue with gay people. We want people to know it's okay to be gay, but it's not okay to be faggots. There is a sharp distinction there. Making America great again is all about being based, and we will work with all our effort to incentivize being based, and disincentivize being woke."

The View, a television show featuring different woke HR professionals, was unsurprisingly upset by the remarks and stance. Joy Behar was seen with steam coming out of her ears at the suggestion that she could no longer be woke and had to be based. "I just do what my CIA handlers tell me to do and there's no way I will allow a man like Donald Trump, who was convicted of multiple felonies, to dictate to me what I can and can't do. I'll be a woke faggot if I want to be a woke faggot," She told her audience on Tuesday.

The Trump admin is expected to roll out expectations and definitions on being based, and how conversion therapy can save the wokes from potential prison time. A source close to the President told the Bugle, "We've had a mental health problem in America for a long time, and it's time we do that. We are committed to making America based again, and we will be funding based mental health professionals to help get us back on track."

Unsurprisingly, Peter McCormack is upset at the news. The former Bitcoin podcaster has walked the line of being based and woke for some time, and appears to be incredibly upset about the rapid shift in the Overton Window. "I'm really not for putting based or woke people in jail. I constantly oscillate between both so it puts me at risk. I'm not going to pick a side. I'm going to continue to straddle both even if it puts me at rick of arrest," McCormack told the Bugle.

Conversion therapy, a controversial concept pioneered by mostly creepy old Christian men to abuse gay teenagers, has been controversial due to lack of evidence of efficacy. Many experts are concerned that the Trump admin is exchanging widely accepted pseudoscience on issues such as sexuality and climate change, for more niche pseudoscience built on top of Nazi ideology.

Until policies and clear guidelines are established, America's woke community is faced with impending dread and anxiety in anticipation of what may possibly come, working with information provided to them by news agencies controlled by intelligence agencies who are openly hostile towards the Trump administration.