Michael Saylor’s NYE Party Fashion Review

Maggie Morris

04 Jan 2025 — 5 min read

Rating the looks of Bitcoin Twitter’s most glamorous night of 2024

Miami is the capital of a style called nouveau riche trash, when done well. This style is actually not easy to pull off, as you’ll see below. We’ve rated the guests on how well they executed this Miami signature look.

The Party

Despite ranking as the world’s lamest high profile CIA asset according to CIAGeeks on TikTok, Michael Saylor put on a grin and plowed through the bullshit one more time for daddy State Department.

From left to right: Saylor’s first CIA handler, host Michal Saylor and unnamed partygoers.

The confirmed bachelor’s Miami mansion hosted close to fifty call girls and call boys and a handful of CIA scouts alongside a myriad of Block-fluencers, Bit-fluencers, podcasters and investors.

The Fashion

This uncanny valley of aspiring to dress well but missing the mark and looking janky and unwell is what happens when men dress without enough respect for women and gays.

Miami fashion 10/10.

An exception is the unnamed guest on the left who is stylish.

This man looks like he put a lot of effort into trying to look casual, which ended up making him look almost human. On the upside, his wife seems proud of him, which means she probably doesn't take a lot of interest in his work.

Miami fashion 4/10

These hunky call boys have the goods, but should they have bothered getting dressed? Yes. Though these outfits miss the mark between fresh and retarded, they bring a breeze of Miami’s cousin, Dubai.

Miami fashion rating: 8/10.

BlackRock CEO Larry Fink and his buddy. This is an interesting photo due to the buddy's shit shoes ruining the look. The low effort by Fink, shows what the grown ups think of this type of event.

Miami style 1/10. Flex.

The theme of the night was a tribute to legendary money launderer and feminist icon Ghislaine Maxwell, who’s spirits loomed heavily over the event.

10/10

With all the Bitcoin between these ladies you would expect better dresses. Bitcoin is meant to be spent.

I’m torn, on one hand, the couple in the middle understood the assignment and went all out dressing for an over the top, wildly tasteless bash, which might actually be a sign of being sentient. On the other hand, understanding the assignment means they look like they’re at a white supremacist cruise, which isn’t great, even if you are based.

Mimai fashion: 5/10

Photos of the man with the blond highlights can be used to demoralize people who still have a soul. He looks like the resuscitated corpse of the man who modeled for the white collar crime ken doll as well as looks how cheap vodka tastes. The soulless grin of him and his date freezes my heart. The man on the right should never be allowed into anyone’s house.

Miami fashion: 5/10

Covid-19 influencer Efrat Fingold wore a dress that says corporate sophistication and boots that say she means business. The look suggests buying a clothing steamer. There you go.

Miami fashion: 2/10

I can't even comment on this, I can't deal with this, just plain NO.

This sweet Manchurian Candidate was the best dressed of the night. Wearing a well made dress with a flattering and fitting cut and color, she managed a feat no one else seemed to accomplish. The winning touch was the belt that makes the dress look cheap, and brings to mind human trafficking- a nod to the night's theme. Well done.

Miami fashion 9/10

I could spend ten therapy sessions to process this photo and how creepy it makes me feel. I'll just note Samson Mow, one of the world’s leading cyphercucks. His jacket is of a conqueror who could irreversibly dry 1200 pussies just by smiling at them.

This photo also stands out for having no sex workers visible in the frame.

Miami fashion: Unable to Compute.

Ill fitting rented suit fail

Any book about psychopaths will tell you one of their signatures is being almost too well dressed at all times. Please help me Jesus and protect me from these demons.