OTTAWA, September 19, 2023 - Canadian Prime Minister Justin "Fidelito" Trudeau has declared war. Not on the rising cost of living, mind you, but on the alarming rate at which the average Canadian's belt size is expanding. "Canada is facing a dual crisis," Trudeau
"Apple is reducing carbon emissions globally. Our phones are shortening lifespans across the globe as a result of their EMF. We are reducing the population, and therefore carbon emissions as well," Tim Cook told an actress playing "mother nature" in an incredibly cringy promotional video. Apple&
September 18, 2023 Senator Elizabeth Warren (D - Pocahontas) has once again taken to her soapbox, this time to renew her calls to crack down on Americans' rights to hold their own crypto assets. One might wonder if she's been sipping a bit too much of the
Stackchain, a popular trend that happened in 2021/2022, when a bunch of midwits started posting $25 Bitcoin buy screenshots on Twitter, has been coopted by a LGBTQ activist group called "Pump Gay Bags Only." The group PGBO was founded to try and manipulate stocks of companies that
As soon as the Orange Pill App launched, users began demanding that the app incorporate features to help members of the Bitcoin ecosystem date each other. "Bitcoin Twitter just hasn't worked out as a dating platform for me," said host of Between Two ASICs, Channing Tatum.
A meme gang is a loose federation of individuals who place text on top of pictures and videos in order to convey a propagandic message. The federation serves as a way to mutually share content, but also for mutual protection. Memers by themselves have been picked off by ruthless opponents
Paul Sztorc, the infamous creator of Bitcoin Improvement Proposal (BIP) 300, has officially announced that he is running for President of the United States. The goal of the campaign appears to be to raise awareness of his BIP. The move sparks controversy as this marks the first time someone attempted
Breaking: The National Palace was surrounded by police last night in San Salvador, El Salvador. It is being reported that Max Keiser was arrested after he became belligerent with El Salvador President, Nayib Bukele. Keiser is rumored to have attempted to solicit payment in exchange for sexual favors from the
Swan Bitcoin's recent and rather theatrical attempt to upgrade their Fortress to a Citadel has taken another turn. Today, the crypto-sphere was set abuzz with the news that Ripple, the ever-controversial parent company of the centralized security-token XRP, has swooped in and Zerg rushed Swan's Fortress.
Throughout Bitcoin's history, there has been many attacks on the network, but also users of the protocol. The Bitcoin industry is flooded with spooks and bad actors who seek to create mayhem in an attempt to prevent Bitcoin miners from consuming the entire worlds energy supply and protect
Fake News
In a shocking and controversial move to protect our Democracy at all costs, President Joe Biden has canceled the 2024 Presidential Election, citing his opponents being horrific racists and threats to the Republic. Political experts applaud the move citing Donald Trump as the greatest threat to global stability and democracy.
As Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen's sabbatical from getting paid enormous amounts of money for lackluster speaking events continues, she held a press conference to discuss the US economy. "Things are looking bright. Bidenomics are a smashing success, and all of America is getting poor! But the good