Rise In Bitcoiners Finding Girlfriends Leads To Rise In Simping For Politicians

All the socials that Bitcoiners use have been filled with individuals hopelessly simping for just elected Argentinian president, Javier Milei. Simping is nothing new for Bitcoiners, and is well respected past time for many of the most influential influencers. Max Keiser, a visionary when it comes to simping, is making a career out of simping for Salvadorian president, Nayib Bukele.

All out simping for politicians has been on a sharp incline since the Bitcoin Magazine conference in Miami earlier this year. The conference was centered entirely around politicians, and Udi. Many are questioning why media companies and individuals are simping so hard for politicians, despite Bitcoin being a market response to what politicians have done to destroy free markets and money.

While Bitcoin has been in a bear market, so has every other asset class as they have severely outperformed Bitcoin. What the Bugle has found is that over the past year, there has been a 145% increase in Bitcoiners finding girlfriends. This new development has lead to a sharp decrease in Bitcoiners simping for egirls on Twitter, and has lead to them simping for politicians instead. The trend has been noted by Only Fans executives for being a major reason that revenue is dropping. "Bitcoiners just don't want to fap to our egirls anymore. They're married, and now are fapping to their favorite politicians," said CEO Ami Gan.

The Texas Blockchain summit that happened last week has seen an incredible amount of growth as a result of the newly converted political simps. Politicians from all over the United States traveled to the Dennis Porter engagement conference in order to take pictures with their biggest simps. Michael Saylor was reportedly had a booth where he was selling his bath water to his most devoted fans. There were many ways to compromise your dignity at the event, which made it a perfect event for the simps. Event organizers proudly proclaimed that over 10,000 autographs were given to the simp attenders by the politicians there.

One major issue with the rise in simping is the potential for Bitcoiners to stop stacking and instead begin giving all their money to politicians and influencers. A wife is expensive enough, but funding a political campaign is a whole different story. Politicians act as black holes that suck in productive money where it goes to disappear.