Churches Panic After Homeless Encampments Disappear, Fear They've Been Left Behind

The San Francisco evangelical community has been turned completely upside down after a sudden disappearance in the homeless population, prior to Xi Jinping's visit to crumbling city. Biden and Newsom's attempt to clean up for visiting company had the unintended impact of convincing many churchgoers that they had been left behind.

Tim Flagmore, a parishioner at San Fran Evangelical stated, "I see the same homeless people pooping on the side of the street everyday on my drive to work but then all of a sudden they were gone. I never thought the city would round them up and put them in Alcatraz, so I just assumed the rapture happened and Jesus took all the homeless people with him. I then began to panic once I realized that I had potentially been left behind."

So many individuals became panicked and began flocking to churches in a complete terror. Even pastors were concerned as they have been preaching more and more about the end times coming, and to prepare. Many pastors experienced massive embarrassment at not being a part of the rapture after preaching to the congregations about the rapture. Things looked like they were going to spiral out of control until Timothy Lahaye, and Jerry B. Jenkins put out a press release stating that the homeless people had be relocated and it was not actually the rapture.

The individuals learning that the rapture indeed had not happened were shocked to learn that the reason the streets had been cleaned up was as a result of the US government trying to impress a communist leader. After learning this news, many began crying and begging for Jesus to come back. It would seem that this has been a major exercise in faith for many San Francisco Christians.