Trump Proposes Paying Foreign Aid To Israel In Bitcoin

Rod Palmer

Aug 2, 2024 — 1 min read

In a bold move to further cement his reputation as a visionary leader, Donald Trump has proposed a new plan for foreign aid: from now on, all U.S. foreign aid will go to Israel, and it will be paid exclusively in Bitcoin.

Because, as Trump explained, "Israel is the best, the greatest, the most fantastic country in the world, and they deserve all of our aid. And Bitcoin is the future, folks, believe me. It's huge, just huge."

Under the new plan, Israel will receive a whopping 100% of all U.S. foreign aid, while every other country will receive a big fat zero. But don't worry, Trump assured us, "the other countries will be fine. They'll just have to learn to get by without our help. It's called tough love, folks."

Israeli leaders are thrilled with the proposal, not just because of the massive influx of aid, but also because they'll be able to use the Bitcoin to buy all sorts of cool things, like BTC Pins, Bitcoin podcast sponsorships, Bitcoin t-shirts, Bitcoin conference tickets, and Starbucks in El Salvador.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world is just shaking its head in amazement. "Has Trump finally lost it?" asked a stunned diplomat from a country that will no longer be receiving any U.S. aid. "I mean, we knew he was a bit eccentric, but this is just ridiculous."

But Trump remains undeterred. "It's a great deal, folks, believe me. The best deal. And Israel will be so happy, so happy. Just watch."

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