TSA Gets Orange Pilled At Bitcoin Conference

Nashville – Dozens of Transportation Security Administration (TSA) employees assigned to the Nashville Music City Center for Bitcoin 2024 were orange pilled this weekend. Bitcoin podcasters say this is a very bullish development as newly orange pilled agents are likely to begin orange pilling their colleagues as well as captive passengers in airports around the country.

TSA employee Carlos Destafano told The Bugle he believes he was employee zero in Nashville at Bitcoin 2024. "Most of us were just here to do our job. We typically work full time at the Nashville airport but were given the opportunity to earn time and half pay by working at the Bitcoin conference so I jumped at the opportunity. I didn't know much about Bitcoin before the conference but after hearing Michael Saylor's 'triple maxi' speech I was convinced."

Carlos's grope buddy, Linda Hayworth, was the next domino to fall. "Agent Destafano showed up to work his shift on Saturday and started telling me all these crazy things he learned about Bitcoin the day prior. I didn't understand anything he was saying but he was so passionate and kept telling me Bitcoin fixes all my problems, including my weight problem." Hayworth explained. "After talking to several conference attendees who confirmed what Carlos was telling me, I was sold!"

By the end of the conference on Saturday evening, at least 27 TSA employees reported being orange pilled. One new TSA Bitcoiner who also worked at the conference told The Bugle he and four of his colleagues had ambitious plans to orange pill the many other TSA agents in the Nashville area. "There are a lot of TSA agents working in Nashville. A lot of them are extremely overweight and would really benefit from the carnivore diet and learning about why fiat is destroying our food and health." said a newly orange pilled TSA employee who asked to remain anonymous. He added, "We also have the opportunity to speak with literally thousands of captive passengers in the TSA lines each day. I am excited to show people how to use custodial lightning and set up nodes."

Several new TSA Bitcoiners said their managers and bosses have been very receptive to their new interest in Bitcoin. "I asked if I could host a TSA Bitcoiners meetup in the break lounge at the airport to educate other TSA agents about Bitcoin and how to use it. They said yes right away! Our first meet up will be about self custody. The Department of Homeland Security is excited to learn about all the different hardware wallets and devices Bitcoiners use to secure their private keys as well as what they look like. It will help them identify the devices in passengers' luggage and on their person when going through security. I told a passenger the other day I liked the new Cold Card he had hidden in his carry-on bag. He looked at me with a horrified face but I think he was just surprised to see a fellow Bitcoiner at the airport!" Destefano said.

The new TSA agent Bitcoiners said they hope to convince their employer to allow passengers to pay for TSA Pre-Check and Clear with Bitcoin someday as well. "Frankly, I think it would be a great way for the TSA to earn Bitcoin but I also think we should put some in our agency treasury account." Hayworth said.